Heart Broken Syndrome

My brother raised his daughter practically by himself. Her mother was present, emotionally. Financially, he did it all. He paid for her schooling and everything a father should do, he did. The same kudos he received, a woman would have received. He was not doing anything exceptional as a man. He did what a father should do. Provide. His daughter left the country when she was 17 years old. She went to live with her mother and her grandmother in another country. Months after settling in her new home, she constantly called me and my mother to talk about how she missed her Dad. It was admirable. He had provided for her nearly all her life, and she was reciprocating. 

Two years later, that all changed. Financially, my brother stopped being able to provide for himself the way he normally did. My brother and I shared the same mother, but had different fathers. His father’s sister was diagnosed with clinical depression over two decades prior, and my brother showed signs of clinical depression. Countless amounts of phone calls to my sister in our country to get the opportunity to speak with my brother was futile. I started reaching out to people I knew on Facebook who had families living near his residence. Eventually a long time family friend responded, provided contact and information. I called and finally I was able to speak with my brother. It seemed a little too late. My brother exhibited signs of clinical depression. 

My brother expressed emotional concerns that his daughter had neglected him. He expressed how disrespectful her tone was when he asked for financial help. He expressed how she questioned him as a child whenever he asked for assistance to restock his store. He expressed how he had lost a lot of weight and people in the community gossiped that he had HIV. My brother was broken. 

I scheduled an appointment with a physician and contacted the community pharmacy. I contacted the Pharmacist personally and befriended her on Facebook. I wanted to put together a team of health care professionals who could help to save my brother. I communicated frequently with the physician and Pharmacist. I called the contact that was provided by our family friend and spoke with my brother regularly. During one of our calls, he reminisced about his childhood and thanked me for being a caring and loving sister. He reflected on the time when I walked miles from my home to theirs to take both him and my youngest brother to school. He thanked me for sending him clothes and money and being there for him. 

On the morning of , on my way from work, his daughter’s mother called me. I returned her call. Her voice was cold and robotic. “Your brother is dead. They found his body on the beach near his home.” That was it. A rather factual message provided to me by a woman who no longer had my brother’s interest at heart, calling to tell me what she heard from people who accused my brother of having HIV. The next couple of months I experienced many different emotions - sadness, guilt, heartache, guilt, and guilt and more guilt. I could have done more. I should have done more. I wish I had done more. 

COVID came and remained for two years. I still had not dealt with the death of my brother, emotionally. Internally I searched for the reason for his death. Was it suicide? Was it a heart attack he suffered while swimming? I reflected on the time he thanked me. That was his goodbye. I didn’t know it then. Two years after my brother died, I became ill and had surgery.  During the time I was ill, I asked my 14 year old son what if he found me unresponsive. He said he’d call 911. I said and in the meantime what would you do? I thought he would have said he would stay with me until they arrived. Instead he said he would perform CPR but he didn’t know how. He followed up by saying can he learn. When I recuperated, that was our first discussion. CPR Training Academy of CT was born! Three months later, my son and I implemented The Kids Alive! Program, a program that provides opportunities for children in low socioeconomic communities to learn CPR. 

As I researched ways to better understand heart attack, heart disease, signs, symptoms, and associated risk factors, I came across a term - Cardiomyopathy, also called Broken Heart Syndrome (BHS). Broken Heart Syndrome (BHS) is also referred to as Stress Cardiomyopathy, Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, or Apical Ballooning Syndrome. Typically, the symptoms usually reverses itself within days or weeks.  Broken heart syndrome affects the heart and is brought on by extreme emotions and stressful conditions. Cardiomyopathy is also triggered by physical illness or even surgery (Mayo Clinic, n.d.). People with Cardiomyopathy may experience acute chest pain similar to pain experienced during a heart attack. Other symptoms include shortness of breath. 

The Mayo Clinic identified previous or current mental health disorder as a known risk factor for BHS. People who experience anxiety or depression may be at a greater risk for BHS. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (2019) listed syncope, a medical term for fainting or briefly passing out, fatigue, shortness of breath or trouble breathing. Other risk factors include severe emotional or physical stress causing the heart muscles to become stunned or weakened (Saint Vincent Hospital, n.d.).

While I may never know the real cause for my brother’s death as the Coroner ruled it as drowning. My brother was found on the beach, face down, still in his clothes and shoes. Extensive investigation was not done on my brother to determine the real cause for his death. The fact he died in a third world country only further exacerbates the concerns of the investigation. I held off burying my brother to privately conduct an investigation which was costly, only to find out the same Coroner who ruled previously, ruled again. The country had one Coroner. A piece of my heart died when my brother died. A scholarship to fund The Kids Alive! Program, implemented by my 14 year old son, will keep the memories of my brother alive. 

If you or anyone you know experiences heart flutters, chest pains, shortness of breath, chest tightening, seek professional help immediately. ‘Tell, Don’t Quell!”

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2019). Cardiomyopathy. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/heartdisease/cardiomyopathy.htm

Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Broken heart syndrome. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617

Saint Vincent Hospital. (n.d.). Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy. Retrieved from https://www.svhhearthealth.com.au/conditions/takotsubo-cardiomyopathy#section-4